AH...
2008 is finally going to end isnt it.
might as well.
it hasnt been a good year has it?
my last semester was probably the worst time i have ever had.

and look at me, at the start of 2008
excited and happy at the end of A levels
not knowing all the shit that is going to happen to me.
clueless that i'll never to see you again in year 2009.

I still miss you so much.

But I guess it wasnt all bad
at least i have kiku near me in school
and tk's always coming to kr campus anw :P
I got karin yuxing bek who are going to the same school as me for the 7th year.
And of course,
I met you.
:):):)

I'm totally not excited about the new year
nor the chinese new year since things are going to be awkward.
nor the new semester cause school stinks.
But I guess no expectation is good
less disappointment you know.

I am really bored.
counting down is too much of a hastle.
especially the going home part.
and there isnt anything to count down to 2009 anw.
I dont even want to turn 20.
I like being a 1X. Or having a 'teen' behind my age :(
AHHHHHH
BLEAGH.

I shall go watch anime.

I went Novena Square today and saw them tearing down the stage for the ice skate special performance for christmas and I felt like crying.
I hate it when I see people taking down christmas decoration
it's like highlighting the fact that christmas is over and no christmas miracle happened
again.

And even though this happens every year, I still foolishly look forward to Christmas and indulge in the false hope of a Christmas miracle.
I dont know why man. But yet every year I spend Christmas wanting to cry.
It's almost like a Christmas tradition.

anw, the 23rd is a wake up call.

I miss rhythmic gym so much I want to cry :'(
I want to start training again.
not for competitons
 or any points (I REALLY think it's a dumb reason to join activities for)
but for the sake of touching the apparatus
and working with them again.
sighh.

Perhaps the best way to enjoy another person is to appreciate yourself,
because when you no longer seek what you think lacks in youself,
you are free to see what really lies in another person.

Life's pretty good!

hahaha I've been dancing alot.
feels good :)
I like the feeling of dancing. 
very carefree and I feel like the world's my stage.
:)
XINLING LIKES! hahaha

but I'm so tired!!
I'd be more willing to go for dance practices 
if nanyang and nus are not all the way in like timbuktu.
bleagh.

and I miss my friends.

my life feels so different.
I mean, I used to be so free.
hahaha esp after I left my job in ncc,
I practically had all the time in the world.
And everyone else seems to be free too.

but now with orientation and all,
everyone seems to be too busy to go out.
OH and they are all going for OG outings!!
BLEAGH.
so irritating la :(
and yes I am jealous.
hahaha I am just a jealous little thing complaining.

and orientation.
I DON'T WANT TO START SCHOOL :(
school's intimidating.
changes are intimidating.
making new friends is a tiring business.
it's all so troublesome 
and I am just too lazy to :(
I'm pretty much very contented with my life now.
I don't want things to change thankyouverymuch.

it's scary don't you think?
it's a whole new chapter of my life.
like reading a book and then you have to flip to the next page for a new chapter.
what if there is a MONSTER in the next page :(
then you'd wish you've never flipped to the next chapter.
SO SCARY RIGHT.

and.
people are going to think I am weird because I cut myself.
and then it's going to be the question stage
you know, the stage after my cuts filter away those who don' really care
and would rather bitch and point at me.
yes and the questions stage is even harder! 
because most who bother to ask care and really want to help me
but I REALLY don't know what to say :(
everytime I have to talk about it is like pulling off a brand-aid
and showing them the wound. it hurts.
and is also very unneccessary.

Xinling doesn't like changes :(
changes are never good.
and most of the time, they hurt like hell.

anw my thoughts are so disorganised
I don't even know why I am typing an entry.
I just thought I should record down this period of my life
hahaha

hey! this period is pretty important ok!
my dance concert in esplanade and my first rag & flag.
it's SUPPOSED to sound exciting and fun!!
hahaha

bleh.

oh!! I must say this!
I feel so jealous and sad everytime I go back to nanyang la!
my juniors are all SO YOUNG.
bleagh.
THIS IS NOT FAIR.
they are only in the MIDDLE of their teenage years!!
and I am at my last 'teen'
no fair!!
all the young and pretty little girls should be sent off to an island of their own
MUAHAHAHA

oh but some of them are hot!
and I must say, to the jealousy of many males,
that in dance we strip and change in front of each other.
hahaha
no I'm not interested -_________-
but after I look at them,
I don't even feel like looking at the mirror.
SOBS.

this entry is crap.
you just wasted 3 minutes (1 if you are a fast reader) of your life.
congrats!

:)))